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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736297">Chastise Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muze/pseuds/Muze'>Muze</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Soulmate-Identifying Marks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:48:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,469</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29736297</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muze/pseuds/Muze</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eloise Bridgerton was insulted that a prolific writer such as her got a meagre "Oh" as a soulmate mark. For twelve years she wondered what bland stupid man hid behind those words, until the night she found out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eloise Bridgerton/Phillip Crane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>115</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Chastise Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eloise Bridgerton, had never suffered middle child syndrome, despite landing neatly somewhere in the middle of eight children. She did not feel overlooked, she <em>demanded</em> attention.</p><p>Because Eloise Bridgerton believed she was destined for greatness. For a long time she had not known what kind of greatness destiny had in store for her, but in the end she had decided she would be a prolific writer, the likes of which had only been seen once before in England.</p><p>And together with her best friend, who was equally quick of pen, Eloise created the most accurate representation of London’s season the literary market had ever seen.</p><p>With such a reputation, and such a profound love for language the two ladies were also bound by their shared grievance about their love lives.</p><p>Both ladies, at the age of majority, had been blessed with pretty cursive tattoos in fortunately coverable locations. It was fortunate indeed, because the soulmates of the notoriously poorly dressed third Featherington daughter and popular untameable Miss Bridgerton were two of London’s best kept secrets. Not even Lady Whistledown – not entirely by accident – could not uncover either word or partner.</p><p>The ladies were frequently asked and would only smile sweetly to hide their exhaustion and frustration. Because what self-respecting writer who spent entire nights crafting the most emotional eloquent sentences would not take offence at only having an “Oh” written on her breast? Not Eloise. And which lovesick fool who had fallen in love at age sixteen and could not even remember the first words she’d spoken to her crush liked to have “Good day, Miss Penelope” on her thigh? Not Penelope who heard that greeting over fifty times a year.</p><p>Eloise loathed her soulmate for being so poorly matched to her, clearly lacking her love for words and creativity of expression. Meanwhile Penelope was hopeless and had resigned herself to never finding out who her match was. She only had one other way to find out. When a pair of soulmates kissed, their words turned from black to gold. But then poor Penelope would have to go around kissing half of London. So, the ladies decided to spend their time improving their accomplishments and resigned themselves to becoming old crones.</p><p>That was, until Penelope did kiss Colin after years of pining and had her words turn golden. And it was beautiful and terrible and awfully frightening for Eloise who at twenty-eight was now an old maid facing spinsterhood <em>alone</em>. And while she was satisfied with her life, she could not help but wish she had a person like her older siblings who understood them like no other, trusted them, supported them… whenever she watched them she could just feel her heart ache with a desperate want for such intimacy. Especially now she had lost her best friend in a way. While Penelope would still be her best friend, Penelope was a wife who was entitled to hide things from Eloise, and who would tell her husband things first and her only second.</p><p>Eloise didn’t do well with being second. She wanted to be someone’s first. And she wanted someone to be her first. And she hated how empty the once so warm and full Bridgerton house felt. And she disliked being treated as lesser by society just because she wasn’t married… But most of all, she hated the loneliness that ate at her at night. That gnawing feeling that grew bigger every day and reminded her that something, someone, was missing.</p><p>Oh. Whatever personality hid behind such a simple two letters? Whatever action or interaction called for such a response? It sounded like disappointed. Perhaps that was what Eloise disliked most of all. If one was happy one would say “Ah!” or “Oh my!” or any strange combination of letters would do. But “oh” sounded terribly sad, confused and disapproving. She would not survive if the one person who needed to think well of her, the one person who she hoped would not see her as “Eloise the menace”, would be disappointed with her.</p><p>And so, she ran. Telling Benedict and Sophie she wanted to have a holiday in Kent with them, promising to look after the children some hours of the day so they could have time to themselves especially because Sophie was about to give birth. <em>Again</em>. Baby number four.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And that was how she ended up on the terrace of My Cottage two weeks after Sophie gave birth. Benedict had thrown a party to celebrate he and Sophie had finally gotten a daughter, lovingly named Violet. She had been so happy for them, but somehow, she was feeling out of it tonight. She lit up a cigarillo and breathed in, the pressure on her lungs becoming less constraining.</p><p>Benedict and Sophie had used the party to sell her off again, inviting all single men from around the neighbourhood  they believed might suit her. A lawyer, a clergyman, a member of the house of lords, a kind doctor, some man they’d met in the woods when Charles had fallen and hurt his leg and he had put a herb compress on it that kept it from infecting, a captain. But Eloise wanted a soulmate so much by now it only hurt her to look on so many faces and just know her dumb excuse of a soulmate wouldn’t be between them.</p><p>She froze when she heard footsteps behind her. Oh great. Wonderful. Now she’d be scolded for smoking as well.  She blew out a big cloud of white in the evening sky.</p><p>‘Go on then, chastise me’, she threatened.</p><p>‘Oh’, the voice stammered in amazement.</p><p>Eloise spun around in a quarter second. No way. No one had ever greeted her with those words. Given her threat, it actually <em>did</em> make sense. She’d never imagined. One would not expect one’s soulmate to immediately invite them to chastise them.</p><p>The man was tall and dressed all in black, even his cravat. A widower. A recent one.</p><p>Eloise’s world slowed down. Her soulmate had been married. He hadn’t waited for her. Perhaps he’d even passionately loved another and now had to undergo the torture of mourning them and being forced together with a woman he didn’t desire. How typical that even a soulmate would be a mess for her. Oh, indeed.</p><p>‘I actually came to admire the garden’, he exclaimed, waving at the greenery behind her.</p><p>Eloise frowned. Who cared about a garden at a birth party?</p><p>‘You’re the one who helped Charles with that infection herb thing’, she remembered from introductions.</p><p>‘Nothing special, really’, he shrugged.</p><p>But what had been his name?</p><p>And why was he not more curious about her? She hadn’t been enthusiastic about her soulmate but now that he was right in front of her she did want to know who destiny had paired her up with.</p><p>‘I’m Eloise Bridgerton.’</p><p>‘Yes, I am aware.</p><p>Alright then.</p><p>‘May I just ask… why should you be chastised?’</p><p>‘Oh, my brother’s a traitor who first smoked with me but then stopped and now wants me to stop. Don’t you love it when others make all your choices for you?’</p><p>‘The opposite, actually’, he said, coming closer.</p><p>‘You sound like you have experience with that. Strange.’</p><p>The man shot her a confused look.</p><p>‘You’re a man. Don’t you get to do whatever you wan?’</p><p>‘I think you might indeed be in need of chastising’, the man said. ‘You’re quite wrong if you believe that.’</p><p>Some shame burned Eloise’s cheeks as her words were thrown back at her. Alright, so he wasn’t completely dumb.</p><p>‘Say what, I offer you a smoke and you explain yourself. And then we might argue about who’s right?’</p><p>The man accepted.</p><p>‘I haven’t smoked since my collage days’, he admitted.</p><p>‘What did you do?’</p><p>‘Herbology.’</p><p>‘Any good?’</p><p>‘I would have been, now I spend my time and studies to help my farmers.’</p><p>‘You have a farm?’</p><p>‘A baronetcy.’</p><p>‘Ah.’</p><p>‘Not of my own choosing.’</p><p>‘Many would be glad with such a thing.’</p><p>‘It was a bit of a poisoned gift’, he explained in a way that explained very little.</p><p>‘How so?’ Eloise asked, intrigued.</p><p>‘I’m a second child. My brother was supposed to get it. But he died. Much to my father’s and my dismay. My father believed me to be the biggest failure a child could be. I was only too happy to spend the rest of my days far away in Oxford, nose buried in some books. But he died in the war and I was called back.’</p><p>‘Ah, I’m sorry.’</p><p>That at least, she understood. Not having a sibling die, but she could not imagine having to give up her passion for knowledge. So she could understand his sense of loss.</p><p>She burned to ask if that was all he had had no choice in. But didn’t dare ask. Luckily, he seemed to understand what she wanted to ask.</p><p>‘So my father did the understandable thing when one’s worst fear happens, and died of shock. Leaving me the baronetcy while I had neither knowledge or experience. And my brother left me his pregnant soulmate. So I got a wife along with the estate, prepared for neither.’</p><p>Not even his wife and child had been chosen?</p><p>Eloise felt ill. He lived through all her nightmares. Forced to give up his intellectual passions, forced into a domestic life with someone he didn’t care for. Forced into a role he didn’t choose.  He couldn’t even choose whether he wanted to find his soulmate or not.</p><p>‘Alright I grant you this one, which mind you I don’t often do so treasure it. I stand corrected.’</p><p>The man said nothing but nodded.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘This is so strange. I always wondered what could elicit an “Oh” as a first response but I guess it kind of makes sense huh? You could hardly expect to bump into me here, after you already married. And my comment must have been quite odd. You must have thought I would have been some saucy backtalking servant or a child. That must have been embarrassing and awkward.’</p><p>His blush told her he had considered just that.</p><p>‘I must admit I often thought about it, that silly word. I imagined so many scenarios, so many people, but never someone like you. You know like big and and tall and strong looking and actually kind of handsome. To be honest I would have thought them to be stupid instead of educated like you. Or disappointed in me, because that word just sounds so disappointing, doesn’t it? It isn’t that rare an opinion. I have so many family members shaking their head and going “Oh Eloise” all the time. But I kind of hoped my soulmate wouldn’t be disappointed or think me silly and tiresome.’</p><p>‘I am sorry?’ he asked.</p><p>‘It’s fine. Got some time to get used to it. The word has been lounging on my skin for twelve years. It doesn’t bother me anymore.’</p><p>‘Miss Bridgerton’, the man called. Eloise became silent. From the way he looked at her it seemed as if it wasn’t the first time he’d said her name.</p><p>‘I never considered meeting my soulmate. Especially not after I married. Actually, I didn’t even consider marrying. So excuse me for being blunt, I never really learned to talk to ladies. But what do you want?’</p><p>‘What do I want?’ Eloise asked in surprise.</p><p>‘It’s tradition that if one finds their soulmate that they marry, isn’t it?’ he asked.</p><p>‘I – yes. Usually.’</p><p>Eloise looked into his eyes. She couldn’t be sure with the poor lighting but his eyes did look troubled and grave, though unmistakably beautiful.</p><p>He took her hand that wasn’t occupied. A shiver ran up her arms. His hand was incredibly big and warm.</p><p>‘I won’t pretend I’m a great catch. I’m a widower. I’m better with plants than with people and my twins chase every nanny and nurse away. You are as I understand a wealthy beautiful lady who has the means to support herself, yet unmarried. If that was because you were waiting for your soulmate, know I give you leave to do as you please with your life. You can have your pick of suitors, I have no doubt, do not hold back on my accord.’</p><p>‘I wasn’t waiting for a soulmate’, Eloise admitted before inhaling for a long time, debating her next words.</p><p>‘Just someone whom I liked. I believe there’s a club in London for all the men I’ve rejected by now. Oafs, all of them. There’s not a decent man in the whole of London. It’s a miracle how all of my sisters and brothers found partners there. They’re good for a laugh and a dance but I wouldn’t trust them.’</p><p>The man just studied her, saying nothing. Eloise didn’t particularly mind, she was quite good at filling up silences but she did wish he told her a bit more.</p><p>‘So, twins?’ Eloise asked.</p><p>‘Ah yes. Oliver and Amanda. They’re turning eight next month.’</p><p>‘Terrible age’, Eloise grinned.</p><p>‘Unfortunately, yes’, he agreed. Eloise saw his cigarillo shortening significantly as he inhaled.</p><p>‘I got some cousins that age. It’s endlessly amusing to see how my siblings who were all terrible at that age themselves are now angry that their children are turning out just like them.’</p><p>‘I certainly never was like that.’</p><p>‘Have you tried just saying “to hell with it” and play along?’</p><p>‘Excuse me?’</p><p>‘Be terrible with them. Help them into the trees if they try climbing it and if they fall, they’ll learn. Take revenge when they trick you or the nurses. Works like a charm. It’s fun terrorizing others but it’s not fun being terrorized, so they quit if the people take revenge. Usually.’</p><p>He now looked at her with a proper amount of fear.</p><p>‘Madam, you terrify me.’</p><p>‘Excellent, there’s a club for that as well’, Eloise smiled.</p><p>‘But I’m afraid it won’t work for my children. They’re dedicated to being horrible.’</p><p>‘You sure about that?’</p><p>‘By all means, try. But you will fail.’</p><p>‘You know what? I will. They’ll never know what hit them.’</p><p>‘Hit? No hitting. Never’, he said.</p><p>‘Calm, I’d never strike a child’, Eloise laughed. But his eyes were serious.</p><p>‘People hit their child where you’re from?’</p><p>The man shrugged.</p><p>‘We don’t do corporal punishment where I’m from.’</p><p>The man nodded.</p><p>‘So you’re inviting me into your home?’</p><p>‘I uhm. I. I don’t know? I somewhat did I think.’</p><p>‘Prepare. My family believes me a menace.’</p><p>‘I think… You would fit perfectly.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And ah, they said nothing about love that night.</p><p>But then Eloise always had a tendency to run before walking.</p><p>But rest assured dear reader, by the time she walked down the aisle Eloise had said those precious three words between a lot of oh’s.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I planned a very spicy fic because that one line of Eloise lives in my head rent free with a lot of scenarios but it turned sappy. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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